Saturday, June 8, 2013

Leaving her...

I have gone silent again on this blog, which I have come to realize means one of two things: either I am crazy busy with life in general or I am feeling a bit emotionally raw.  The last couple of weeks I have had both of those covered in full.  Two weeks ago we loaded up a U haul to the gills and moved our daughter to the Atlanta area.  I should say back to the Atlanta area because it is where we lived before moving here right after she graduated high school.  She is now a college graduate and has started her first real job.  I am so proud of her and her choices and admire her courage in taking on the world.  She is working in a job she feels passionate about and seems custom made for her...as if her whole life has prepared her for such a time as this.  She has her own apartment which she has decorated and it looks like something out of a magazine (and did it all on a very tight budget!)  She is looking for a little fuzzy room-mate now to keep her company and things are good for her....really good.   

But leaving her there, even knowing she was safe and happy, was one of the very hardest things I have ever had to do.  When our move is complete, week after next, we will be 8 hours away from her and that kills me.  I know others have children scattered throughout the world and 8 hours seems like nothing so I probably shouldn't complain....but it was like leaving the best part of me when I drove away.  She and I are like 2 sides of the same coin and I feel just a bit lost without her.  

It was hard when we left her at college the first time but I knew she would be home in a week or two...but this time I don't know when I will see her next.  I know she is too far for me to hop in the car and meet her halfway for lunch, or make a hasty trip when something unexpected happens, or to share in the little things that happen day to day.  I know she is surrounded by people who care about her and will take good care of her if she needs anything....but I am not there...and it hurts.  I am not sure who it hurts more...me or her.  

Of course, we still talk for long periods of the day on the phone and text continually but knowing there are going to be 2 states between us just fills me with anxiety.  We still keep the cell lines popping with photos of things we see during the day and I am learning to reuse the United States Postal Service as well...but....


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7 comments:

  1. It is hard. I'm 8 hours away from my family too. Bryan is 11 hours away from his family too. You'll be fine in time! I'm sending you hugs and love!

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  2. You will be fine, our son and his family is in Tacoma, WA. Lisa still in Gainesville. When you do get together, it makes it that much more special!

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  3. Ah mama it will be okay and so will she.

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  4. My daughter just finished her freshman year @ Ole Miss. It's only 3 hours from home but I miss her terribly when she's gone. I'm happy to have her home for the summer but know that some day, after graduation, there's a chance we may be living much farther apart.

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  5. Aw! Just think how much fun y'all will have when you get together from now on though! And congratulations on her engagement- so exciting!

    KK

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  6. I get quiet when I'm trying to get over/get through emotional things, too. *hugs* I know you know I know (:-)) what it's like to be separated from fam...but to be 100% honest, I dread the day Will & Annelise "leave me" for good. :-( Covering you with love, support, & grace for this that only God can give!!!

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  7. (((So sorry Mom))) I know it is killing both of you. Thankfully it is so much easier to stay in contact on a daily basis now than it was when I left home. I know she is surrounded by old friends and family but please, never hesitate to call me if you need me to do something for her. I mean it!!

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